. After our break up, I’m doing fine. Sometimes I feel a bit lonely, and sometimes really sad when I pass by his parking. Guess it’s normal. I need this to move on.

. In the middle of the night. When there is sound of engine, it wakes me up. It might be him. It might not. Doesn’t matter.

. He asked me why am I so cold. Why I don’t want this. He told me he missed me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I loved you but I don’t see that we could be a happy ending. Every time I look back, try to find moments that we were happy, a flash back of an ugly pinky dress, a text, or simple as the ignorance you gave me would set me straight. I was hurt too much, I don’t even feel it anymore. That explains my coldness.

. There is another chapter where I started to develop a feeling for an stranger. Sometimes there is a name passed our conversation. Make me wonder is it the same when you talk to her. Have I ever crossed your mind like the way she did. Doesn’t matter.

. Tonight I wanna cry.

Let’s break up. He said that.It was Monday. 

People think it was because of some minor mistakes, some silly things and he was overreacted. Only I know the main reason. I really did piss him off. My fault. I have problems on my own. Because of insecurity and jealousy. 

Wednesday, 2 days after.

We had our last talk. I told him i want to end it nicely way, not in a mess, not as we yell at each other, and write some immature things on FB (which exactly what he did)

In the end, after a long talk, our status might become ” It’s complicated”. We dont want to lose each other. All we need is time on our own, to think about what is important to us.

I went to embassy after that. They was having a gala dinner for all those expat who not coming home for Tet. I told him about that long time before and asked him to pick me up in KL.

I didnt expect he would do that since we had a huge fight.

10.25pm he texted me if I was done. I was on a cab and i didnt realize i got a msg (i checked my phone every 5 mins before that and it was nothing. When i decided to give up and take a cab instead, there came a msg >.< Universe really wanna mess me up)

11.00pm. He texted me to ask me if I need him to pick me up..

.. 

I dont know where we are standing right now. He still treat me as a girlfriend (only less talking and less showing expression). I definitely want him back. Let nature take it own time.

I do have faith. If you love each other, love will find its way. 

Name: Ha Mai Chi
Date: 2/24/2009
Colorgenics Number: 12650437

You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person.

You are an emotional and sensitive person. You are inclined to delight and wallow in all things that give pleasure to your senses but nevertheless your tastes are refined and you reject anything that is indecent or vulgar.

Although you are, deep down, a very caring person, you are very particular in the choice of friends and indeed very demanding at times. You can be most quarrelsome and controversial and it is because of this argumentative trait you can at times explode into open conflict – conflict with even those you may care for and love. It is because of this inherent argumentative streak in you that may have resulted in broken hopes and dreams.

You are feeling trapped by the situation as it stands at this time and what is more, you feel powerless to remedy it. You are stressful, angry and disgruntled. You feel that everything that you try to do to change the situation is thwarted and your hopes and aspirations all seem to be receding into the ever distant future. You have reached the state where you now doubt whether your dreams will ever be achieved and this is not only causing mental stress but heartache. You need to get away from it all – you need to have time to think, to recuperate, to be able to make your own decisions.

You wish to be left in peace… no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don’t want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for ‘them’ to get on with it – and to leave you alone.

——————

Name:Ha Mai ChiDate:Monday 2nd 2012f January 2012 01:49:55 AMColorgenics Number:0/4/1/2/6/5/3/7/

Presently, you are trying to break away from a situation that is causing you considerable worry and concern. Things are getting on top of you and you are feeling depressed almost to breaking point. Obviously there must be a way out - but at this time the solution seems to be escaping you. You want to ‘get away from it all’ and as a consequence you appear to be sullen and introverted and refuse to get involved in any discussion or arguments which could aggravate the situation. Accept the fact that ‘as you feel - so your body will respond’ and ‘pretend’ to the world about you that everything is going beautifully as, if you act as if ‘all is going well’ everything will, whether you believe it or not, work out as you would like it to.

You are very self-sufficient and methodical. You presume to know where you are going but need to find a person who will recognise the way you are, not be too demanding and who is, as they say in Italy, ‘Simpatico’.

You give the impression that you are a self-sufficient individual, pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain or pleasure. But this is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional person, one that may make hasty decisions and perhaps repent at leisure. It is time now perhaps to break the bond of detachment and become the real ‘you’ - the you that you would like to be.

You are feeling trapped by the situation as it stands at this time and what is more, you feel powerless to remedy it. You are stressful, angry and disgruntled. You feel that everything that you try to do to change the situation is thwarted and your hopes and aspirations all seem to be receding into the ever distant future. You have reached the state where you now doubt whether your dreams will ever be achieved and this is not only causing mental stress but heartache. You need to get away from it all - you need to have time to think, to recuperate, to be able to make your own decisions.

You are fed up with other people trying to influence you and you also feel that it is necessary to protect yourself from the threat that your independence and freedom may be restricted. You would just like to be left alone.

Why it always ends with I like to be left alone??? It’s the last thing I want.